Well... uh... huh. Who knew! WTF?

So, Lord of the Rings collectibles. Ah? Eh? A nice sword, maybe: a model of Glamdring, the blade Gandalf carried, no problems understanding that. Hang that on the wall and be proud of your geekery. A Ring! The One Ring, encased in some nice rune-carved display globe. I get that. A brooch, maybe.

I admit that this particular collector's niche is something I never would have thought of. I'm not sure I would have pursued it if I did think of it. Click this! Click it!


I'll wait.






A... train? A collectible, HO-scale, gold-wheeled train set? With pictures from the movie on it.

Admittedly, when Frodo and the Fellowship were traveling by train to Mordor, with Legolas serving up tea and coffee in the dining car and Gandalf and Gimli playing a game of whist, the steady chugging of the wheels and the proud "whoo! whoo!" of the steam engine must have struck fear into the hearts of Sauron's servants, but damn.

Now, a Harry Potter collectible train? That makes sense. There's a %#&@$! train in that story. It's set in modern day. And I love me some HO-scale model railroading. But a collectible Lord of the Rings Electric Train Set... I... I'm jiggered. I'm really stupid right now. I must be in the wrong business. Seventy bucks per car. I should just bury my integrity and get into selling Thomas Kinkade holiday paraphernalia.

There's a Batman collectible train set advertised on the bottom of the page, if you like.

What's next? An exclusive Dale Earnhardt Intimidator Crossing Gate and Block Signals Accessory Set?

Defending 'Merica

I work across the street from Glendale City Hall and the police station. On the corner of Broadway and Isabel there's a yard with a memorial for military personnel. Its motto is "In Memory of Those Who Served that the World Might Live in Peace," and there is a black marble plaque for each major conflict, listing the names of fallen soldiers (presumably from Glendale):

WORLD WAR I - 1917-1918 - The War to End All Wars
WORLD WAR II - 1941-1945 - Victory on Land, at Sea and in the Air
KOREA - 1950-1953 - The Forgotten War
VIETNAM - 1958-1975 Remember...



This is a noble thing, to remember one's fallen.

There is now a fifth plaque. I was thinking there should be one, since the number of American personnel who have perished in Afghanistan and Iraq has passed the 3000 mark.

However, it says this:

PROTECTING AMERICA FROM TERROR - 2001-Our Heroes

... which really bothers me. This smacks of heartstring-yanking, of a vague emotional appeal to somehow legitimize the loss of these men and women. They can't even put a proper name to this conflict, for there isn't one. It's a permanent agenda, a scattered, bullheaded push toward American domination of the Middle East, which we water down by pretending we're being made safe... as if the men and women who have been trained to fight in defense of the country are standing at our very doorsteps, fending off mad foreign killers.

Why are they there? Why, they're "protecting America from terror." No. No, they're not. That might be their goal, their wishes, what they've been told and what gives them hope during the hellish dangers surrounding them daily, but that isn't why they're there. No terror hatched from Iraq until we created the incubator for it. They're there because someone in a suit wants something.

If the plaque had said "The Afghanistan/Iraq Conflict," I would have nodded and passed on. But instead there is this ambiguous, politically-charged moniker. It might as well have said THE WAR ON TERROR, as if it had an actual title and was declared by Congress.

To me this plaque takes all the sacrifice, all the real human lives at stake, and lessens their value, because of this hazy appeal to emotion splashed on it. To me it takes a family's loss of a loved one and gives their grief a patronizing pat on the head: "see, we remember the sacrifice of your son/daughter/brother/sister. They fell defending our freedom, from terror!" Every soldier who dies from now on, for any reason, will have fallen "defending America from Terror." Every cause is now noble, even when it's blatantly not.

Someone might well nod in satisfaction at this kind of monument, shed a tear for this government-approved watering-down of our reasoning, and bitch at me for all the wrong reasons. I have no patience for that at the moment, no desire to explain that I didn't want our soldiers over there in the first place, because they're not going to comprehend that. So for those led by their hearts instead of their minds, for those whose meager knowledge stems from the mainstream loudspeakers of this administration, fuck you.

Current mood: Insulted

Months and months later...

Allow me some space to rant this morning...

So let me get this straight. Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist delivers a taped speech called "Justice Sunday: Stopping the Filibuster Against People of Faith," in which he again is threatening to go with the "nuclear option" of banning the filibuster against Bush's insane choices of nominees. He holds it in a packed Baptist church in Kentucky.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, basically it's this: our illustrious President chooses nominees to fill positions. Most of these nominees are like choosing a Grand Wizard of the KKK to oversee police activities in a predominantly black neighborhood, or a wolf to guard chickens. The latest one is John Bolton to be the next ambassador to the United Nations, and he's pretty much confirmed himself as a confrontational guy who doesn't think the U.N. is worth anything.

Continuing. So Frist holds this speech, insinuating that Democrats are trying to filibuster against Bolton's appointment because they're against faith. Adding to this is a comment by Charles Colson, head of Prison Fellowship Ministries, who says that the filibustering of court nominees is "destroying the balance of power, which was a vital Christian contribution to the founding of our nation."

Colson, are you, to put it bluntly, out of your devolved mind? Filibustering is destroying the balance of power?! You're claiming that a desperate technique usable only by a minority oppressed by a one-sided Congress is destroying the BALANCE of POWER? I'm just curious: is giving all power to one side of Congress balanced?

Secondly... the concept of Balance of Power is a vital Christian contribution to our nation? How can you take credit for that with a straight face? These two phrases in one sentence make for an amazing viewpoint: the minority should not be allowed to challenge those in power, because that destroys the balance of power, which Christians are responsible for. Colson, look up the word "balance" in the dictionary.

How can Frist and Colson argue, as their speeches apparently do, that people with their opinion have God on their side, and say that those with a different view are faithless?

I just hope that someday people of faith might want to stand up and say that, just perhaps, the people in power don't speak for them, that the government's view of faith is not their own. Religion in this country is not a single monolithic thing, and it's time to stop pretending it is. The extreme right does not have a monopoly on God's viewpoint; all they have is the megaphone.

Thrilling Lunchtime Adventures Vol. 7

Bossa Nova, naturally.

I'm seated by myself at the end, outside. Sitting next to me is Gustavo, who I meet. We both order iced tea and favorite dishes without needing a menu, and we end up talking throughout lunch.

It's a lot easier for me now to talk to total strangers who begin talking to me. I used to be frightfully shy, and didn't want to see, meet, greet, talk to or know new people, and then bitch about how few friends I had and how bad I was at meeting people. But it's easier now. Maybe I'm more approachable. Maybe I give off a better vibe of fellow humanity. Maybe I set off mild levels of gaydar.

It was nice. We discussed relationships, mostly, but overall it's just nice to live here, and know that there are people who are nice too. Maybe that's the vibe I give off. I love being here.

On a side note, I'm vastly improved from a week or two ago. I can breathe without wheezing. I don't know if or when I will ever be able to enjoy cigars, pipes or hookahs again, though, and that's depressing. Asthma sucks.

phyllis morris

So on Robertson there's an Anawalt Lumber. It's expanding into the lot next to it, in what I believe is the longest construction period in history, moving concrete blocks and dirt around in some intricate game of Stratego without actually building much. You may think it took a long time to put together those big ol' pyramids in that country at the upper right end of Africa, but that's nothing compared to Anawalt's construction phase. Maybe.

Anyway, for some reason the fence in front of the construction lot has had several big banners stretched across it from time to time. Each of them has had a quotation by a "phyllis morris." They're vaguely irritating, and the various banners have gone like this (paraphrasing from memory):

"minimalism is for those without much to say." - phyllis morris
"there is no room for twin beds in a happy marriage." phyllis morris
"never design for your husband." - phyllis morris

Well, 1) Thanks, Phyllis, for not understanding minimalism and what it means. It's an idea that conveys meaning in as little as possible, that speaks as much with its whitespace as its content, ideas without fluff. There is beauty in clean lines and simplicity. Ask the Japanese. Besides, these signs are a thin black sans-serif font on white, as minimalist as you can get. The bannermakers weren't thinking. 2), Um, okay. Sure. No problem. Huh? I dunno... maybe she was referring to the I Love Lucy Show. 3) Read: Go ahead and decorate the house with as much flowery embellishment as your cheesiest women's magazine or your Martha Stewart catalog allows. Please only your fellow female tea-party and embroidery enthusiasts.

Well, Phyllis, it turns out, started designing in 1953 with a gaudy poodle lamp, and moved on to create truly intricate furniture and things. You can see it here. It's fairly frightening but elaborate in a rich kind of way. It's like Victorian with its snuff box overturned on its own breasts. So I can forgive her for her opulence. I just don't understand why it's pasted on the outside of an Anawalt lumber construction site.

This is a test of the Polar Broadcasting System.

This is only a test. If this had been an actual post, it would appear on the page and you would be able to read it. However, it isn't, and you can't, except for the part above where it's describing how you'd be able to read it if it was an actual post.

This blog is probably going to mirror my LiveJournal. Forgive me for being on LiveJournal, but I joined a while ago, dammit. But here it is, and it has actual writing on it, not this porridge of English: Polarbase

Now to look around and figure out how to futz with the HTML and the BBCode, if there is any...